Bruce Afraid of Mom being Sick

I came home yesterday from grocery shopping and didn't think I was going to make it home in time before I passed out.  I must of caught a bug.  By the time I got home which I don't remember, I felt sick to my stomach, white as a ghost and feeling like my head wasn't attached to my body.   It wasn't pretty.  Katie, my daughter put the groceries away and I sat down looking ill and not well.  After waking my husband who is on night shift to get up and watch the kids for a couple of hours I laid down and proceeded to go through the chills, aches and a true head on stomach bug!  I heard my son keep asking Daddy if all was gong to be OK with Mom?  Then I heard him get a little emotional over something my husband said which would of never of made him start to cry.  Immediately I thought he feels bad that I'm sick. My husband came in to check on me and I told him to be gentle with Bruce.  Hes very sensitive and hes probably wondering who is going to give him his next shot.  It will be me but kids don't always think like that.  His concern was that Mom was not well.

Today Bruce Jr. couldn't do enough for me.  I laid on the couch but every time I moved I felt dizzy and sick to my stomach.   He asked me if I wanted the remote, anything to drink, he would make my coffee, never has before:0 and he was always checking on me.  I think its nice that my son thinks of me but I'm supposed to take care of him.  I started feeling better tonight, except for the fact that every time I decided to do something I would break out in a cold sweat, so not a 100% terrific.  Hopefully by tomorrow I will feel better.

I wonder what goes through a child's mind sometimes.  I put Bruce to bed tonight and I went in there to say good night and he had tears in his eyes.  He said nothing was wrong and good night but that he didn't want me to have arthritis too! He gets scared when I'm sick.  I told him that he didn't have to worry and that I was feeling better.  We have an eye appointment tomorrow to check for uveitis and he wanted me to come with him.  He says hes better when I'm there.  I told him that I would be there and that he had nothing to worry about.  I had a stomach bug and would feel better by tomorrow.  He wanted to know if he could give us arthritis?  He was afraid that I could get it.  I said no that you cant catch "it".  I cant help but wonder what he keeps bottled up inside his little mind.  What makes him worry. Is this a result of having a chronic illness?  Does Bruce always feel like this?  That he did something to make any of us sick when we have a cold/virus etc.  A lot to handle for Bruce's small shoulders.  This is not the first time he has felt this way and its my job to let him be a kid and not have adult issues to deal with when he doesn't have to.  He already deals with enough issues.  We probably will be seeing a Dr. about that right hip of his.  Its swollen only on one side and it makes him look like he is standing funny.  He says no, but it looks odd.  With Juvenile Spondylitis, anything with his back makes me sit up and pay attention. Yes, with Dr.'s and meds and shots he has enough to deal with.

So I'm off to bed still a bit sick and with thoughts of my son worried that something is wrong.  These are thoughts that will go through my head a few more times.  How I will ease his mind to know that he didn't make me sick, its just a virus and that Daddy and I will be there for him when he needs his shots (well just me for this one), medicine and to see the Doctors.